ask yourself "why" explianed...

Alot of people keep asking what my last blog meant, and i guess i should explain it. Only i don't know where to start.

I was getting to the point of saying that no matter what, God is God, and God is good. He deserves our praises. So praise Him with everything you have! When you go into church on Sundays and your feeling like your week has gone horrible, you don' have to fake it! Lay your burdens at the foot of God, not to forget about them but for Him to sort through, to heal, to make even that incy wincy bit lighter. Only until you lay them down at Hies feet will you be able to worship Him in the way you were made to do.

Just cause you lay them down doesn't mean that your ignoring them or pushing them aside. It means that your allowing God to reach into your life and alter them. Use them for the better. And guaranteed that if you put them at Gods feet and then just praise God with everything God gave you to praise Him with you will not leave the church on Sundays asking why. You'll leave with a new hope and a foundation to stand on. Doesn't mean it'll be easy, but it'll be worth it.

I had this vision once of a ship in a massive storm. The waves were huge and the ship was getting tossed in every direction. The wind was pushing it away from its direction its heading in, the currents were swirling it in every possible combination of nauseating maneuvers. Eventually the ballister tanks (i think that's what their called) are filled up. In case you don't know what they are their the tanks at the bottom of the ship which fill up with water during storms so that the ship isn't rocked as much. So the ship's ballister tanks are filled up, and the ship can continue heading in the right direction, even though the storm is still going on around the ship.

The point of this vision was to symbolize us. When we're in the storm of life, when we're being tossed and thrown about by the storms we're going through, we need God to come inside us and fill us. We need God to stabilize us. It doesn't mean that the storms of life will cease, but it does mean that we won't be thrown about as much, so we can continue heading in the direction we're supposed to be going in.

I hope that makes sense and sort of explains it!!

ask yourself “why?”

You know those Sundays when you wake up and groan at the thought of going to church and facing up to God? You somehow managed to push Him out of your head for that week, and as you brush your teeth all you can feel is that guilt in your stomach for all the sin that you’ve done that week? You swear that, even though you aren’t perfect, that amount of sin isn’t possible for you to commit in seven days.

You know those Sundays when you wake up with what feels like the heaviest heart? You just wanna curl up in bed, not because its warm, but because you have that feeling which gets ya right in the chest and holds on to you with a death grip? As you pull on your socks you bite your bottom lip to distract you from the reality of what’s happened. The past week made you feel like almost every emotion has been dumped on you by a bulldozer.

But you still manage to get to church, even if your feet are dragging a little, and as you near the door a smiling face appears and all you want to do is smear what your feeling all over the person’s crisp, clean, white t shirt. But you force a smile on your face and carry on through, into the auditorium. Music meets your ears, drums beating faster than your feet dare carry you. Lyrics about ‘freedom’ bubble from the mouths of those around you. Except all you can feel is how captive you are to the guilt and pain inside of you.

During worship you clap when expected, you raise your hands when someone’s looking and you even sang your favourite chorus a little louder than normal. But there’s that eating feeling in your stomach.

Once everyone sits down the offering bag is passed round and you chuck in your share, except all you can think about is how if you kept the money you wouldn’t have to go to the ‘bargin bins’ at shops.

The preacher gets up, preaches up a storm. But your mind has wondered off. Instead you’re nursing that hole where your heart normally is. And once the service is over you stand up, and drag your feet out of the church in the same way they went in.

Once you get home you collapse in a mess on the couch and ask yourself “why?”

how powerful the lyrics are

One of my absolute favourite songs is by a band Haste the Day, and is called Autumn. I just love the lyrics so unbelievably much. It goes:

Red leaves blow in the wind
Leaving home and everything it's known behind
Barren branches wave goodbye
As the red leaves slowly die
Every flower stares and watches
As the wind takes me away
Before the sun shone upon me
Now the wind takes me away
Red leaves falling
Through the branches
Making their way to the ground
Blowing by the flowers sleeping
No one knows the leaves are leaving

I know that the band will have their own interpretation of this song, but i have my own which i love =]

For me it signals leaving the 'summer' season of your life. You leave the season and everything you've known. The safety, the love, the warmth and the light. You leave your 'anchor' (the tree) and let the wind capture you as you dance along in a life that you cannot control because your just a little leaf, being blown about by the wind.

The flowers are the people that stand there, seeing you as this 'red leaf' but eventually the people fall asleep and don't notice that you have slipped from the tree's branches, no one knows whats happening to you. All they know s that you were this once beautiful leaf on the tree of life.

I can kind of see my own life in this song, in fact i think almost every one can see their own life in this song. Loving God, yet letting yourself slip but no body is there to catch you because they think your still firmly attached to the tree.

*sighs* i'm listening to the acoustic version of this song at the moment and it is just so beautiful. It sends shivers down my spins when i think about how powerful the lyrics are.

Rejoice and fall onto your knees in fear.

I don’t often think about it. I ban myself from it. I find the thought almost thrilling. It gets me deep in my heart and it almost hurts. Many people talk about it and I do not understand why. It will signal God’s victory over this war, but the war hasn’t even started.

How can one know what the end of the world will bring?? Apart from pain, agony and death?? All I can think of is how in the bible it talks about women eating their own children. What would drive someone to do that?? One can only imagine the horror.

Unlike on the video games people won’t go around trying to shoot the zombies. For the enemy cannot be slain by guns alone. The zombies will be replaced with things that don’t eat human flesh. But rather devour their spirits. The guns will be replaced with prayers, and not one soul will be spared from darkness. You will fight on your own strength but fail. You will search to no avail. But do not fear!! For the Lord has already won this victory. Shelter under His wings and you will not be harmed.

Even though the end is near, you cannot run away from the setting sun. Even though you cry out in anguish you will be left in the clutches of evil. Under bridges and in empty buildings you will hide. But do not be afraid!! The Lord your God is with you. He hasn’t abandoned you. Instead He’s carrying you, waiting for the right time to end this war.

Scream all you like, quiver at the enemy. Everything is meaningless without God. Everything crumbles away without His love. Everything disappears before your eyes as the earth splinters and shatters. Darkness in the land.

Be scared and tremble!! But most of all rejoice!! Rejoice that the victory is closer than you think. Rejoice that the fight has already been won, that the battle is already over. Rejoice in the name of the Lord. Rejoice and fall onto your knees in fear.

The becoming of the capture: part three

The monster rears his head as spots her on the ground. Her blood trickles down her head from a collision with a low cieling.

The monster raises his fist and brings it down with all the might it can muster. The girls stomach heaves at the pressure as she struggles to crawl away, clawing at the ground.

Another blow to her side jolts her across the floor into a pile of boxes. The monster lets out a scream of delight as it dances on the spot. Eyes gleefully alight. Excitement ripples through his body as he stalks the girl who is froozen in terror.

Electric pins and needles flow through her body, as she fights not to give in. Where are her angels?? Have they forsaken her?? Forgotten her and left her to rot in the hands of the evil one??

This dark room has been her home for so long. Since he stole her and led her here. Darkness covers the floor, the walls and the ceiling. No where is there light and only shadows mark out the rubbish and 'collectables' lying on the around.

This massive room is the perfect place for these two to play their game of hide and seek. The darkness covers both of them like a cloak. A cloak with no warmth or loving care put into the making of it.