GOD IS SO GOOD!
Who is like Him?
He created bird's feet so they can sit on branches and sing to us. He created light to keep us from darkness. He created worms to decompose things. He created grass so the land would not be barren. He made it soft so it felt good under our feet! He created the moon so we could have tides, wind and the calender. He created waves so we could see His fury. He created the sun so we knew when to rise from our sleep. He created the tree's roots so they could stand firm in the ground. He made the tree's grow fruit that taste so sweet!
GOD IS SO GOOD!
Who is there like Him?
He created laughter so we could open our mouths and sing wih the angels. He created arms so we could hug and reach out. He created smiles so we could appreciate the small things more. He created love so we could be loved. But also so we could love. He created strangers so we could brighten their days. He created friendship so we wouldn't have to do it all alone. He created dancing and music so we could express things we could not speak. He created hands that we could offer to others for help. So we could lift them in worship to Heaven above!
GOD IS SO GOOD!
Who is there like Him?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
You never know, you may change a life.
I have recently found two new websites which I have completely fallen in love with. The first is http://www.givesmehope.com/. It's a website where people send in a few sentences about something that happened during their day that GMH (Gives Me Hope). Many of these stories are just random acts of kindness (RAK), or simply someone seeing someone else do something which you would not expect. Here are a few of my favourites:
- I'm a 17 year old male who has spent the past four years working through anorexia. Yesterday, I had a large order of French toast with eggs and bacon for breakfast, a cheese burger and french fries for lunch, and a steak with mashed potato and corn for dinner. I have never felt so attractive. GMH
- I'm 22 years old and about to go on my first date. I have never felt so beautiful. GMH.
- A long time ago, I was on the verge of committing suicide when a guy came to the roof to have lunch. He saw me climbing over the rail and asked me to have lunch with him. After receiving my puzzled look he continued to explain "everyone should die happy, or at least with a full stomach." We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last month. GMH.
- I was at a bookstore and an obscure author was doing a book signing. No body was coming over -- he looked dejected. Then three teenagers came over, got his autograph and took pictures. It looked like it made his day. Later, I talked to him and they said they'd never read his books. GMH.
Those are only a few, and all of them are so inspirational and just so humbling! Many left me with tears in my eyes or laughing out loud. This website was made after the founder came across a different website called FMyLife, which promoted exactly the opposite. People wrote in about the bad things that happened in their day. The GMH website shows the within such a horrid time as this, people still are willing to stop and help strangers, not expecting anything in return.
The next website is http://www.operationbeautiful.com/. This website encourages people to leave post-it notes on bathroom mirrors, on treadmills and weight scales at gyms, on changing room doors, on door handles, on ANYWHERE! telling people how beautiful they are, to smile, that they look stunning. There's so many testimony's on the website about people seeing these notes and it changing their day.
Its made me think, how easy is it to change someones life? We make it out to be this whole 'big deal' thing, but really its not. If all it takes is random acts of kindness, or leaving post-it notes around, then why aren't we doing more RAK's or leaving a simple post-it note somewhere.
I challenge you (I am also taking up this challenge) to leave at least one post-it note or do a random act of kindness at least once a day. Once a day? That's not even 5 minutes out of your day! Surely you can do that! You never know, you may change a life.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Will you make an effort or not?
I've noticed that lately everyone has been talking about the whole 'two degrees of separation' thing. So I found it highly amusing when I sat down on the train and the guy next to me pulled out his bible the same time as I pulled out mine. I couldn't help but laugh and asked him if he was a christian which he answered in a surprised tone that he was. We got talking and it turned out that his father was a pastor at Ranui Baptist. I didn't think anything of it, but we were talking away and we ended up sharing little snippets of our walk with Christ. It was so unbelievably encouraging hearing this 19 year old speak about how he was brought back to God after walking away from him!! I got home and asked my Mum about this family and it turns out that they went to Bible College with my family. Talk about two degrees of separation!!
The point of the story is not that everyone in New Zealand knows everyone else in New Zealand. The point is, is that as i was getting off the train the dialogue went like this:
Me: Oh well, it was awesome meeting you!
Him: Yeah, I'll no doubt see you round.
Me: *laughs* Yeah, maybe.
Him: No, we will.
I stepped off the train completely puzzled by the whole experience. First of all, I knew God had placed him in that train for us to met. It was an earlier train than the one I normally catch and the only reason he caught the train was cause his car had broken down that morning. Second of all, this meeting had encouraged me to step out in my faith. To talk to strangers on the train. Its not like they can go anywhere while your speaking to them! And third of all, what did he mean about 'I'll no doubt see you round."
It suddenly hit me that he meant that we will in fact, as brother and sister in Christ, be spending the rest of eternity together. Then I remembered a conversation I had with God on the train a few days earlier when I saw another man reading his bible. I remember feeling so deflated after realising that I'm going to be spending the rest of forever with this guy in heaven, yet I didn't even know his name!
So lately I've been thinking about how much getting to know someone can actually mean. Whether it's a stranger, a work colleague, a family member, a person who you see everyday but never talk to. Just SOMEONE! Get to know them. Ask them questions that go below the surface. I mean, if they're a christian then your going to be stuck with them forever so you may as well get to know them now! And if they're not a christian yet, then God may have placed you in this position so that one day they WILL declare God's glory for eternity with you. Its up too you... Will you make an effort or not?
The point of the story is not that everyone in New Zealand knows everyone else in New Zealand. The point is, is that as i was getting off the train the dialogue went like this:
Me: Oh well, it was awesome meeting you!
Him: Yeah, I'll no doubt see you round.
Me: *laughs* Yeah, maybe.
Him: No, we will.
I stepped off the train completely puzzled by the whole experience. First of all, I knew God had placed him in that train for us to met. It was an earlier train than the one I normally catch and the only reason he caught the train was cause his car had broken down that morning. Second of all, this meeting had encouraged me to step out in my faith. To talk to strangers on the train. Its not like they can go anywhere while your speaking to them! And third of all, what did he mean about 'I'll no doubt see you round."
It suddenly hit me that he meant that we will in fact, as brother and sister in Christ, be spending the rest of eternity together. Then I remembered a conversation I had with God on the train a few days earlier when I saw another man reading his bible. I remember feeling so deflated after realising that I'm going to be spending the rest of forever with this guy in heaven, yet I didn't even know his name!
So lately I've been thinking about how much getting to know someone can actually mean. Whether it's a stranger, a work colleague, a family member, a person who you see everyday but never talk to. Just SOMEONE! Get to know them. Ask them questions that go below the surface. I mean, if they're a christian then your going to be stuck with them forever so you may as well get to know them now! And if they're not a christian yet, then God may have placed you in this position so that one day they WILL declare God's glory for eternity with you. Its up too you... Will you make an effort or not?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What have you offered up to God lately?
Lately I've found a new found love for the Old Testament. Particularly the first seven chapters of Leviticus. Now, any sane person reading the first seven chapters would probably fall asleep by the 2nd page. But, with the help of my God goggles, I found the whole seven chapters fascinating!
Its all about offering sacrifices to the Lord. So it's pretty old school. But I reckon we can learn a lot from it. When I was reading these chapters I wrote down this "It doesn't matter what, or how we make our offering, as long as it is of high sacrifice it is pleasing to the Lord. Slaughter it at the entrance of the place of worship, allow others to pray over it and then give yourself as a clean offering, without defect, to the Lord."
So, because we are not bound by the laws of the Old Testament no longer, we do not have to sacrifice cows, or grain, or anything like that. But there are bits of our lives we need to sacrifice/offer up to God.
There is an offering called the Burnt Offering. Your going to have to excuse me if I get this wrong, but a Burnt Offering was when every part of the offering was burnt in the sacred fire and symbolized the total dedication of the offering to God, being completely consumed by the fire so it was not available for anything else. The smoke was the offering to God in heaven. Three times in the first chapter, which is completely about Burnt Offerings, it says "It is a burnt offering... an aroma pleasing to the Lord."
What I learnt with this offering is that our lives need to be like the Burnt Offerings. Completely consumed by the Fire of the Holy Spirit so it cannot become available to the clutches of Satan or this world. It is when we are completely consumed by the fire that nothing else can touch us. Just like Job, Satan is not allowed to harm even a single hair on our heads if we belong to God.
Now the next offering, the Grain Offering, gives lots of examples of how you can present this to the Lord. But one thing is the same, grain (or barley of wheat) is the staple diet of the people God is talking to. As Westerners I don't think we can truly appreciate what this offering meant. They had to offer up the food they ate everyday. Meat was a delicacy, where as grain was an essential. If they did not have their grain, if it did not rain, if it wasn't a good harvest, then they would not eat. So essentially, grain was what they were 'made out of'.
So really, this offering is asking them to offer up their daily life, themselves, what the consist of. We can learn so much from this offering! We need to offer up OUR daily lives. Again, this is "an aroma pleasing to the Lord".
Now, I don't know much about the Fellowship Offering. All I know is that it is a time of celebration with friends, family and fellow believers. It is also the third of the 'pleasing aroma' sacrifices.
How often do we forget to celebrate what the Lord has done in our lives. We forget that every blessing comes from Him. Praise the Lord!
The next offering is the Sin Offering. In this offering the Lord asks you to take the blood and fat and then dispose of the rest. This may not sound strange, but think about it. What part of the animal is the most important when it comes to sacrificing? The meat and the hide. Yet, it was the least important bits that were offered up to God while the meat was left for the Priests to eat. It sounds like an easy sacrifice to make. Offer up the useless bits of the animal. But it'd be like melting the chocolate of scorched almonds and just eating the almond. Your missing the best bit! Your WASTING the chocolate! For this offering you had to offer up one of your best animals, to waste the meat and give the blood! This is a big ask. Just like in John 12vs. 3-5 when the lady poured the perfume over Jesus' feet, we would have to say "What a waste" to all the meat that wasn't used.
But how applicable is this to us! What do we do when we sin? We take the best animal (the life God has given us), us the useless parts (sin) and then throw away the meat (the new life God has given us). We throw away the NEW LIFE God has given us! What a waste! We should really, like the burnt offering, be offering the WHOLE animal to God. The useless and the prized bits. Everyone has seen the wonders God can do when we offer Him even the smallest and insignificant parts of our life.
I've only written down four offerings, there is one more which is the guilt offering which I know hardly anything about. I apologise if any of this is wrong, I don't know much about the Old Testament. But I found all this fascinating and I'm still mind boggled about it all.
I want you to sit and think for awhile... What have you offered up to God lately?
Its all about offering sacrifices to the Lord. So it's pretty old school. But I reckon we can learn a lot from it. When I was reading these chapters I wrote down this "It doesn't matter what, or how we make our offering, as long as it is of high sacrifice it is pleasing to the Lord. Slaughter it at the entrance of the place of worship, allow others to pray over it and then give yourself as a clean offering, without defect, to the Lord."
So, because we are not bound by the laws of the Old Testament no longer, we do not have to sacrifice cows, or grain, or anything like that. But there are bits of our lives we need to sacrifice/offer up to God.
There is an offering called the Burnt Offering. Your going to have to excuse me if I get this wrong, but a Burnt Offering was when every part of the offering was burnt in the sacred fire and symbolized the total dedication of the offering to God, being completely consumed by the fire so it was not available for anything else. The smoke was the offering to God in heaven. Three times in the first chapter, which is completely about Burnt Offerings, it says "It is a burnt offering... an aroma pleasing to the Lord."
What I learnt with this offering is that our lives need to be like the Burnt Offerings. Completely consumed by the Fire of the Holy Spirit so it cannot become available to the clutches of Satan or this world. It is when we are completely consumed by the fire that nothing else can touch us. Just like Job, Satan is not allowed to harm even a single hair on our heads if we belong to God.
Now the next offering, the Grain Offering, gives lots of examples of how you can present this to the Lord. But one thing is the same, grain (or barley of wheat) is the staple diet of the people God is talking to. As Westerners I don't think we can truly appreciate what this offering meant. They had to offer up the food they ate everyday. Meat was a delicacy, where as grain was an essential. If they did not have their grain, if it did not rain, if it wasn't a good harvest, then they would not eat. So essentially, grain was what they were 'made out of'.
So really, this offering is asking them to offer up their daily life, themselves, what the consist of. We can learn so much from this offering! We need to offer up OUR daily lives. Again, this is "an aroma pleasing to the Lord".
Now, I don't know much about the Fellowship Offering. All I know is that it is a time of celebration with friends, family and fellow believers. It is also the third of the 'pleasing aroma' sacrifices.
How often do we forget to celebrate what the Lord has done in our lives. We forget that every blessing comes from Him. Praise the Lord!
The next offering is the Sin Offering. In this offering the Lord asks you to take the blood and fat and then dispose of the rest. This may not sound strange, but think about it. What part of the animal is the most important when it comes to sacrificing? The meat and the hide. Yet, it was the least important bits that were offered up to God while the meat was left for the Priests to eat. It sounds like an easy sacrifice to make. Offer up the useless bits of the animal. But it'd be like melting the chocolate of scorched almonds and just eating the almond. Your missing the best bit! Your WASTING the chocolate! For this offering you had to offer up one of your best animals, to waste the meat and give the blood! This is a big ask. Just like in John 12vs. 3-5 when the lady poured the perfume over Jesus' feet, we would have to say "What a waste" to all the meat that wasn't used.
But how applicable is this to us! What do we do when we sin? We take the best animal (the life God has given us), us the useless parts (sin) and then throw away the meat (the new life God has given us). We throw away the NEW LIFE God has given us! What a waste! We should really, like the burnt offering, be offering the WHOLE animal to God. The useless and the prized bits. Everyone has seen the wonders God can do when we offer Him even the smallest and insignificant parts of our life.
I've only written down four offerings, there is one more which is the guilt offering which I know hardly anything about. I apologise if any of this is wrong, I don't know much about the Old Testament. But I found all this fascinating and I'm still mind boggled about it all.
I want you to sit and think for awhile... What have you offered up to God lately?
Friday, July 24, 2009
He will reward you
For the past few years (actually, probably my whole life) I have convinced myself that i do not have time to read my bible, that I don't have time to pray, that I can't spend an hour or two in worship everyday.
The more I think about this, the more I realize that its just Satan planting these seeds in my head. That I DO in fact have time. That I CAN spend at least an hour a day in worship. I mean, how long do I spend on Facebook, or texting, or watching TV a day? It'd amount to a fair few hours.
I then realized that I spend over an hour traveling on a train three days a week. I just sit there, doing nothing! What a perfect opportunity to whip out my bible and just pray. Sounds stupid but I get this strange kick out of reading my bible on the train, then looking up and noticing the person opposite me is also reading their bible. I get this silly little grin on my face and I think to myself "I'm going to be spending the rest of eternity with them, yet I don't even know their name."
And the more time I spend reading my bible, the more I find it exciting. I'll often find myself giggling at some of the passages. It makes me so joyous reading about redemption and God's grace and how He turns our mourning into dancing. Its exciting stuff!
Lately I've really been getting into the Old Testament. Stuff which I normally would've fallen asleep reading now stirs up my soul and makes my spirit dance to the music of God's words. I call it my 'God goggles'. I was trying to explain to my friend what they were and its when you read a piece of the bible which you've read a million times, but all of a sudden it makes sense. It's cause you put your God goggles on and it made sense!
I really want to encourage you to look at times during your day when your not doing anything, and use those moments to seek after God. It's done wonders to my relationship with God. In fact I will often catch the later train just so I can sit in the train stop and read my bible for longer cause I can't put it down. Push into God for wisdom and guidance, He will reward you.
The more I think about this, the more I realize that its just Satan planting these seeds in my head. That I DO in fact have time. That I CAN spend at least an hour a day in worship. I mean, how long do I spend on Facebook, or texting, or watching TV a day? It'd amount to a fair few hours.
I then realized that I spend over an hour traveling on a train three days a week. I just sit there, doing nothing! What a perfect opportunity to whip out my bible and just pray. Sounds stupid but I get this strange kick out of reading my bible on the train, then looking up and noticing the person opposite me is also reading their bible. I get this silly little grin on my face and I think to myself "I'm going to be spending the rest of eternity with them, yet I don't even know their name."
And the more time I spend reading my bible, the more I find it exciting. I'll often find myself giggling at some of the passages. It makes me so joyous reading about redemption and God's grace and how He turns our mourning into dancing. Its exciting stuff!
Lately I've really been getting into the Old Testament. Stuff which I normally would've fallen asleep reading now stirs up my soul and makes my spirit dance to the music of God's words. I call it my 'God goggles'. I was trying to explain to my friend what they were and its when you read a piece of the bible which you've read a million times, but all of a sudden it makes sense. It's cause you put your God goggles on and it made sense!
I really want to encourage you to look at times during your day when your not doing anything, and use those moments to seek after God. It's done wonders to my relationship with God. In fact I will often catch the later train just so I can sit in the train stop and read my bible for longer cause I can't put it down. Push into God for wisdom and guidance, He will reward you.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Yes, i love you
This is a vision i had last week. Its kind of confusing cause there's a vision inside the vision, but bare with me!!
I lay at the foot of the cross and wept. Blood from His hands and feet dripped onto my head. But i did not notice. His final breaths were pounding into my skull. The ground stained red. Agony, pain, desperateness. Each one of the Lord's cries resemble torture.
"I'm sorry Lord! I did not know!"
He looked down at me. "Shut your eyes child, and follow me."
Puzzled i did as He asked. A vision filled my gaze. There, standing beside me was Jesus Himself. His face still with the shadow of hopeless pain.
The Lord took me down a road. A dirt path, one with many potholes. It was dusty and hot. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
We wondered down this barren land until He suddenly stopped and pointed to the side of the road. "Look."
A prostitute stood on the side of the road. Make up piled on the fake face, legs that left little to the imagination. I sniggered at the sight.
Jesus turned and faced me, disappiontment spread across His face.
"You don't... love her? Do you, Lord?"
Jesus sighed sadly and continued down the road.
Wretched screams started echoing in my head. Each step brought fierce chills down my spine. Jesus stopped walking and watched my face as i saw a man, pining down a little girl who i recognized as the prostitute from before. Her sobs escaping her mouth.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I love her."
Anger welled up inside me. "That man! How could he? She's just a girl. Surely you do not love him!"
Jesus grimaced and continued walking. We walked long into the night until we stopped next to a young boy, whom i recongized as the man from before.
The young boy sat silent as a slow tear rolled down his cheek. A few meters in front of him sat his Mum. A bloodied, mangled mess. His Dad wiped her blood off his hands and turned to face the child as he un-did his belt. The child was grabbed and i shut my eyes before i could watch anymore.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I do love the rapist's."
"But that father Lord! How wrong! Surely you cannot love him. Surely!"
Jesus shook His head sadly and continued walking. We didn't walk for long. On the side of the road was a school yard and i recognized the man who i saw just before beating up his wife and child.
A group of teenagers stood around the small boy. One pushed him over, another kicked, another punched and yet another yelled out names.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I love the wife beaters."
"But Lord! Those teenagers! Their beating up that helpless child! Surely you CANNOT love them!"
Jesus looked at me, angry this time. "Have I taught you nothing?"
I sighed and looked agian. A movement on the far side of the school yard caught my eye. Another person stood, watching the scene, debating whether to interven or not. They decide not to and turn around to walk away. I caught i glimpse of the face and it felt like i'd been kicked in the stomach. I fell to my knees and sobbed.
"I'm sorry Lord! I did not know!"
I cried out in shame. The prostitute, the rapist, the wife beater was all because of me. "I'm sorry Lord!" Regret and shame raced through every vein and nerve in my body.
By the time i opened my eyes agian i was no longer in the dusty road. I was back at the foot of the cross.
Red blood still staining the ground. I looked up and an empty cross met my eyes. I shuddered at the though of what had happened.
Me! The cause of all this!
I felt a hand rest on my back. I turned round slowly. Knowing i couldn't look into Jesus' eyes no longer.
"Yes," Jesus saud, "I love you."
"But Lord! You died! For this sin! For this wretched world!"
He nodded.
I looked at His hands holding mine. "Was it worth it?"
He lifted my face to His. "For you?" He asked. "Yes."
I lay at the foot of the cross and wept. Blood from His hands and feet dripped onto my head. But i did not notice. His final breaths were pounding into my skull. The ground stained red. Agony, pain, desperateness. Each one of the Lord's cries resemble torture.
"I'm sorry Lord! I did not know!"
He looked down at me. "Shut your eyes child, and follow me."
Puzzled i did as He asked. A vision filled my gaze. There, standing beside me was Jesus Himself. His face still with the shadow of hopeless pain.
The Lord took me down a road. A dirt path, one with many potholes. It was dusty and hot. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
We wondered down this barren land until He suddenly stopped and pointed to the side of the road. "Look."
A prostitute stood on the side of the road. Make up piled on the fake face, legs that left little to the imagination. I sniggered at the sight.
Jesus turned and faced me, disappiontment spread across His face.
"You don't... love her? Do you, Lord?"
Jesus sighed sadly and continued down the road.
Wretched screams started echoing in my head. Each step brought fierce chills down my spine. Jesus stopped walking and watched my face as i saw a man, pining down a little girl who i recognized as the prostitute from before. Her sobs escaping her mouth.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I love her."
Anger welled up inside me. "That man! How could he? She's just a girl. Surely you do not love him!"
Jesus grimaced and continued walking. We walked long into the night until we stopped next to a young boy, whom i recongized as the man from before.
The young boy sat silent as a slow tear rolled down his cheek. A few meters in front of him sat his Mum. A bloodied, mangled mess. His Dad wiped her blood off his hands and turned to face the child as he un-did his belt. The child was grabbed and i shut my eyes before i could watch anymore.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I do love the rapist's."
"But that father Lord! How wrong! Surely you cannot love him. Surely!"
Jesus shook His head sadly and continued walking. We didn't walk for long. On the side of the road was a school yard and i recognized the man who i saw just before beating up his wife and child.
A group of teenagers stood around the small boy. One pushed him over, another kicked, another punched and yet another yelled out names.
"Yes," Jesus said, "I love the wife beaters."
"But Lord! Those teenagers! Their beating up that helpless child! Surely you CANNOT love them!"
Jesus looked at me, angry this time. "Have I taught you nothing?"
I sighed and looked agian. A movement on the far side of the school yard caught my eye. Another person stood, watching the scene, debating whether to interven or not. They decide not to and turn around to walk away. I caught i glimpse of the face and it felt like i'd been kicked in the stomach. I fell to my knees and sobbed.
"I'm sorry Lord! I did not know!"
I cried out in shame. The prostitute, the rapist, the wife beater was all because of me. "I'm sorry Lord!" Regret and shame raced through every vein and nerve in my body.
By the time i opened my eyes agian i was no longer in the dusty road. I was back at the foot of the cross.
Red blood still staining the ground. I looked up and an empty cross met my eyes. I shuddered at the though of what had happened.
Me! The cause of all this!
I felt a hand rest on my back. I turned round slowly. Knowing i couldn't look into Jesus' eyes no longer.
"Yes," Jesus saud, "I love you."
"But Lord! You died! For this sin! For this wretched world!"
He nodded.
I looked at His hands holding mine. "Was it worth it?"
He lifted my face to His. "For you?" He asked. "Yes."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
We've got a world record to break!
With the news of Micheal Jackson's death starting to trickle through the air waves, media, and Internet i thought its only appropriate to create my own 'tribute post' to the king of pop!
There's no doubting his influence on the world of music or dance. I myself have learnt the moonwalk he made famous. The first time i ever tried to do the walk (and succeeded) was in China at one of the posh-est department stores i have ever been to. The looks of the shop assistants were nothing short of bewilderment. I'm sure i must've looked like the biggest loser doing the moonwalk amongst clothes racks and perfume shelves. It is a skill i think everyone should learn! Who knows when one will need to bust out the move! In fact, in honor of this pop icon I'm thinking of holding a world record attempt party for the most people doing the moonwalk at once. How fascinating and life changing would that be!
Break out your white gloves, your black boots, and start shuffling those feet! We've got a world record to break!
There's no doubting his influence on the world of music or dance. I myself have learnt the moonwalk he made famous. The first time i ever tried to do the walk (and succeeded) was in China at one of the posh-est department stores i have ever been to. The looks of the shop assistants were nothing short of bewilderment. I'm sure i must've looked like the biggest loser doing the moonwalk amongst clothes racks and perfume shelves. It is a skill i think everyone should learn! Who knows when one will need to bust out the move! In fact, in honor of this pop icon I'm thinking of holding a world record attempt party for the most people doing the moonwalk at once. How fascinating and life changing would that be!
Break out your white gloves, your black boots, and start shuffling those feet! We've got a world record to break!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
tomorrow
Tomorrow. One word which conjures up so many emotions. It leaves questions and doubts. It makes you wonder whether or not what your doing now will help you in the coming day.
Tomorrow. One feels a sense if fear and torture at the word. No one can stop the sun, and the world will always keep spinning.
Tomorrow. One knows it brings you one step closer to death. But we ignore it. Instead we act naive and waste today, turn it into yesterday and rely on tomorrow to make us change.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
ask yourself "why" explianed...
Alot of people keep asking what my last blog meant, and i guess i should explain it. Only i don't know where to start.
I was getting to the point of saying that no matter what, God is God, and God is good. He deserves our praises. So praise Him with everything you have! When you go into church on Sundays and your feeling like your week has gone horrible, you don' have to fake it! Lay your burdens at the foot of God, not to forget about them but for Him to sort through, to heal, to make even that incy wincy bit lighter. Only until you lay them down at Hies feet will you be able to worship Him in the way you were made to do.
Just cause you lay them down doesn't mean that your ignoring them or pushing them aside. It means that your allowing God to reach into your life and alter them. Use them for the better. And guaranteed that if you put them at Gods feet and then just praise God with everything God gave you to praise Him with you will not leave the church on Sundays asking why. You'll leave with a new hope and a foundation to stand on. Doesn't mean it'll be easy, but it'll be worth it.
I had this vision once of a ship in a massive storm. The waves were huge and the ship was getting tossed in every direction. The wind was pushing it away from its direction its heading in, the currents were swirling it in every possible combination of nauseating maneuvers. Eventually the ballister tanks (i think that's what their called) are filled up. In case you don't know what they are their the tanks at the bottom of the ship which fill up with water during storms so that the ship isn't rocked as much. So the ship's ballister tanks are filled up, and the ship can continue heading in the right direction, even though the storm is still going on around the ship.
The point of this vision was to symbolize us. When we're in the storm of life, when we're being tossed and thrown about by the storms we're going through, we need God to come inside us and fill us. We need God to stabilize us. It doesn't mean that the storms of life will cease, but it does mean that we won't be thrown about as much, so we can continue heading in the direction we're supposed to be going in.
I hope that makes sense and sort of explains it!!
I was getting to the point of saying that no matter what, God is God, and God is good. He deserves our praises. So praise Him with everything you have! When you go into church on Sundays and your feeling like your week has gone horrible, you don' have to fake it! Lay your burdens at the foot of God, not to forget about them but for Him to sort through, to heal, to make even that incy wincy bit lighter. Only until you lay them down at Hies feet will you be able to worship Him in the way you were made to do.
Just cause you lay them down doesn't mean that your ignoring them or pushing them aside. It means that your allowing God to reach into your life and alter them. Use them for the better. And guaranteed that if you put them at Gods feet and then just praise God with everything God gave you to praise Him with you will not leave the church on Sundays asking why. You'll leave with a new hope and a foundation to stand on. Doesn't mean it'll be easy, but it'll be worth it.
I had this vision once of a ship in a massive storm. The waves were huge and the ship was getting tossed in every direction. The wind was pushing it away from its direction its heading in, the currents were swirling it in every possible combination of nauseating maneuvers. Eventually the ballister tanks (i think that's what their called) are filled up. In case you don't know what they are their the tanks at the bottom of the ship which fill up with water during storms so that the ship isn't rocked as much. So the ship's ballister tanks are filled up, and the ship can continue heading in the right direction, even though the storm is still going on around the ship.
The point of this vision was to symbolize us. When we're in the storm of life, when we're being tossed and thrown about by the storms we're going through, we need God to come inside us and fill us. We need God to stabilize us. It doesn't mean that the storms of life will cease, but it does mean that we won't be thrown about as much, so we can continue heading in the direction we're supposed to be going in.
I hope that makes sense and sort of explains it!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
ask yourself “why?”
You know those Sundays when you wake up and groan at the thought of going to church and facing up to God? You somehow managed to push Him out of your head for that week, and as you brush your teeth all you can feel is that guilt in your stomach for all the sin that you’ve done that week? You swear that, even though you aren’t perfect, that amount of sin isn’t possible for you to commit in seven days.
You know those Sundays when you wake up with what feels like the heaviest heart? You just wanna curl up in bed, not because its warm, but because you have that feeling which gets ya right in the chest and holds on to you with a death grip? As you pull on your socks you bite your bottom lip to distract you from the reality of what’s happened. The past week made you feel like almost every emotion has been dumped on you by a bulldozer.
But you still manage to get to church, even if your feet are dragging a little, and as you near the door a smiling face appears and all you want to do is smear what your feeling all over the person’s crisp, clean, white t shirt. But you force a smile on your face and carry on through, into the auditorium. Music meets your ears, drums beating faster than your feet dare carry you. Lyrics about ‘freedom’ bubble from the mouths of those around you. Except all you can feel is how captive you are to the guilt and pain inside of you.
During worship you clap when expected, you raise your hands when someone’s looking and you even sang your favourite chorus a little louder than normal. But there’s that eating feeling in your stomach.
Once everyone sits down the offering bag is passed round and you chuck in your share, except all you can think about is how if you kept the money you wouldn’t have to go to the ‘bargin bins’ at shops.
The preacher gets up, preaches up a storm. But your mind has wondered off. Instead you’re nursing that hole where your heart normally is. And once the service is over you stand up, and drag your feet out of the church in the same way they went in.
Once you get home you collapse in a mess on the couch and ask yourself “why?”
You know those Sundays when you wake up with what feels like the heaviest heart? You just wanna curl up in bed, not because its warm, but because you have that feeling which gets ya right in the chest and holds on to you with a death grip? As you pull on your socks you bite your bottom lip to distract you from the reality of what’s happened. The past week made you feel like almost every emotion has been dumped on you by a bulldozer.
But you still manage to get to church, even if your feet are dragging a little, and as you near the door a smiling face appears and all you want to do is smear what your feeling all over the person’s crisp, clean, white t shirt. But you force a smile on your face and carry on through, into the auditorium. Music meets your ears, drums beating faster than your feet dare carry you. Lyrics about ‘freedom’ bubble from the mouths of those around you. Except all you can feel is how captive you are to the guilt and pain inside of you.
During worship you clap when expected, you raise your hands when someone’s looking and you even sang your favourite chorus a little louder than normal. But there’s that eating feeling in your stomach.
Once everyone sits down the offering bag is passed round and you chuck in your share, except all you can think about is how if you kept the money you wouldn’t have to go to the ‘bargin bins’ at shops.
The preacher gets up, preaches up a storm. But your mind has wondered off. Instead you’re nursing that hole where your heart normally is. And once the service is over you stand up, and drag your feet out of the church in the same way they went in.
Once you get home you collapse in a mess on the couch and ask yourself “why?”
Monday, May 4, 2009
how powerful the lyrics are
One of my absolute favourite songs is by a band Haste the Day, and is called Autumn. I just love the lyrics so unbelievably much. It goes:
Red leaves blow in the wind
Leaving home and everything it's known behind
Barren branches wave goodbye
As the red leaves slowly die
Every flower stares and watches
As the wind takes me away
Before the sun shone upon me
Now the wind takes me away
Red leaves falling
Through the branches
Making their way to the ground
Blowing by the flowers sleeping
No one knows the leaves are leaving
I know that the band will have their own interpretation of this song, but i have my own which i love =]
For me it signals leaving the 'summer' season of your life. You leave the season and everything you've known. The safety, the love, the warmth and the light. You leave your 'anchor' (the tree) and let the wind capture you as you dance along in a life that you cannot control because your just a little leaf, being blown about by the wind.
The flowers are the people that stand there, seeing you as this 'red leaf' but eventually the people fall asleep and don't notice that you have slipped from the tree's branches, no one knows whats happening to you. All they know s that you were this once beautiful leaf on the tree of life.
I can kind of see my own life in this song, in fact i think almost every one can see their own life in this song. Loving God, yet letting yourself slip but no body is there to catch you because they think your still firmly attached to the tree.
*sighs* i'm listening to the acoustic version of this song at the moment and it is just so beautiful. It sends shivers down my spins when i think about how powerful the lyrics are.
Red leaves blow in the wind
Leaving home and everything it's known behind
Barren branches wave goodbye
As the red leaves slowly die
Every flower stares and watches
As the wind takes me away
Before the sun shone upon me
Now the wind takes me away
Red leaves falling
Through the branches
Making their way to the ground
Blowing by the flowers sleeping
No one knows the leaves are leaving
I know that the band will have their own interpretation of this song, but i have my own which i love =]
For me it signals leaving the 'summer' season of your life. You leave the season and everything you've known. The safety, the love, the warmth and the light. You leave your 'anchor' (the tree) and let the wind capture you as you dance along in a life that you cannot control because your just a little leaf, being blown about by the wind.
The flowers are the people that stand there, seeing you as this 'red leaf' but eventually the people fall asleep and don't notice that you have slipped from the tree's branches, no one knows whats happening to you. All they know s that you were this once beautiful leaf on the tree of life.
I can kind of see my own life in this song, in fact i think almost every one can see their own life in this song. Loving God, yet letting yourself slip but no body is there to catch you because they think your still firmly attached to the tree.
*sighs* i'm listening to the acoustic version of this song at the moment and it is just so beautiful. It sends shivers down my spins when i think about how powerful the lyrics are.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Rejoice and fall onto your knees in fear.
I don’t often think about it. I ban myself from it. I find the thought almost thrilling. It gets me deep in my heart and it almost hurts. Many people talk about it and I do not understand why. It will signal God’s victory over this war, but the war hasn’t even started.
How can one know what the end of the world will bring?? Apart from pain, agony and death?? All I can think of is how in the bible it talks about women eating their own children. What would drive someone to do that?? One can only imagine the horror.
Unlike on the video games people won’t go around trying to shoot the zombies. For the enemy cannot be slain by guns alone. The zombies will be replaced with things that don’t eat human flesh. But rather devour their spirits. The guns will be replaced with prayers, and not one soul will be spared from darkness. You will fight on your own strength but fail. You will search to no avail. But do not fear!! For the Lord has already won this victory. Shelter under His wings and you will not be harmed.
Even though the end is near, you cannot run away from the setting sun. Even though you cry out in anguish you will be left in the clutches of evil. Under bridges and in empty buildings you will hide. But do not be afraid!! The Lord your God is with you. He hasn’t abandoned you. Instead He’s carrying you, waiting for the right time to end this war.
Scream all you like, quiver at the enemy. Everything is meaningless without God. Everything crumbles away without His love. Everything disappears before your eyes as the earth splinters and shatters. Darkness in the land.
Be scared and tremble!! But most of all rejoice!! Rejoice that the victory is closer than you think. Rejoice that the fight has already been won, that the battle is already over. Rejoice in the name of the Lord. Rejoice and fall onto your knees in fear.
How can one know what the end of the world will bring?? Apart from pain, agony and death?? All I can think of is how in the bible it talks about women eating their own children. What would drive someone to do that?? One can only imagine the horror.
Unlike on the video games people won’t go around trying to shoot the zombies. For the enemy cannot be slain by guns alone. The zombies will be replaced with things that don’t eat human flesh. But rather devour their spirits. The guns will be replaced with prayers, and not one soul will be spared from darkness. You will fight on your own strength but fail. You will search to no avail. But do not fear!! For the Lord has already won this victory. Shelter under His wings and you will not be harmed.
Even though the end is near, you cannot run away from the setting sun. Even though you cry out in anguish you will be left in the clutches of evil. Under bridges and in empty buildings you will hide. But do not be afraid!! The Lord your God is with you. He hasn’t abandoned you. Instead He’s carrying you, waiting for the right time to end this war.
Scream all you like, quiver at the enemy. Everything is meaningless without God. Everything crumbles away without His love. Everything disappears before your eyes as the earth splinters and shatters. Darkness in the land.
Be scared and tremble!! But most of all rejoice!! Rejoice that the victory is closer than you think. Rejoice that the fight has already been won, that the battle is already over. Rejoice in the name of the Lord. Rejoice and fall onto your knees in fear.
The becoming of the capture: part three
The monster rears his head as spots her on the ground. Her blood trickles down her head from a collision with a low cieling.
The monster raises his fist and brings it down with all the might it can muster. The girls stomach heaves at the pressure as she struggles to crawl away, clawing at the ground.
Another blow to her side jolts her across the floor into a pile of boxes. The monster lets out a scream of delight as it dances on the spot. Eyes gleefully alight. Excitement ripples through his body as he stalks the girl who is froozen in terror.
Electric pins and needles flow through her body, as she fights not to give in. Where are her angels?? Have they forsaken her?? Forgotten her and left her to rot in the hands of the evil one??
This dark room has been her home for so long. Since he stole her and led her here. Darkness covers the floor, the walls and the ceiling. No where is there light and only shadows mark out the rubbish and 'collectables' lying on the around.
This massive room is the perfect place for these two to play their game of hide and seek. The darkness covers both of them like a cloak. A cloak with no warmth or loving care put into the making of it.
The monster raises his fist and brings it down with all the might it can muster. The girls stomach heaves at the pressure as she struggles to crawl away, clawing at the ground.
Another blow to her side jolts her across the floor into a pile of boxes. The monster lets out a scream of delight as it dances on the spot. Eyes gleefully alight. Excitement ripples through his body as he stalks the girl who is froozen in terror.
Electric pins and needles flow through her body, as she fights not to give in. Where are her angels?? Have they forsaken her?? Forgotten her and left her to rot in the hands of the evil one??
This dark room has been her home for so long. Since he stole her and led her here. Darkness covers the floor, the walls and the ceiling. No where is there light and only shadows mark out the rubbish and 'collectables' lying on the around.
This massive room is the perfect place for these two to play their game of hide and seek. The darkness covers both of them like a cloak. A cloak with no warmth or loving care put into the making of it.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The becoming of the capture: part two
Not to sure if it makes sense, but meh:
Search lights are in every corner. There is no place left to hide. Every nook and cranny is taken over by the enemy.
No place to run, no place to hide and certainly no place for her to stop and catch her heaving breaths.
Everywhere she turns leads her into just more danger and terrifying truths. Every light shows her faults, every light lights her mistakes ablaze. Even her deepest, darkest secrets are in the open. Leaving a dark and sinister track behind her for the monster to follow.
In the shadows she creeps, in the hollow boxes she lies in wait for the footsteps to die away in the distance. And just when it seems like he's forgotten what she looks like and gives up hope of finding her the ugly monster rears his head and once agian the enemy is right behind her, sniffing out her scent.
The chase is on once agian, but will the enemy win this time??
Search lights are in every corner. There is no place left to hide. Every nook and cranny is taken over by the enemy.
No place to run, no place to hide and certainly no place for her to stop and catch her heaving breaths.
Everywhere she turns leads her into just more danger and terrifying truths. Every light shows her faults, every light lights her mistakes ablaze. Even her deepest, darkest secrets are in the open. Leaving a dark and sinister track behind her for the monster to follow.
In the shadows she creeps, in the hollow boxes she lies in wait for the footsteps to die away in the distance. And just when it seems like he's forgotten what she looks like and gives up hope of finding her the ugly monster rears his head and once agian the enemy is right behind her, sniffing out her scent.
The chase is on once agian, but will the enemy win this time??
The becoming of the capture: part one
I wrote this in 2007. Its kind of a diary, but a story. This is the first part. I'll post all the rest up here eventually.
The girl had danced in the light, in golden paddocks she ran free. People sought out her company, and angels were her friends. They vowed always to protect her, never let any harm come to her.
She talked to God and had conversations with Him. She walked by His side wherever she went. But the monster was waking up in his darkness. The enemy hated the girl. He hated her joyful ways. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she held her head up high. So he devised a plan to capture her.
Just when the girl thought nothing could go wrong and let down her barriers, the monster took away the thing that meant the most to her and then covered her in darkness.
He later dressed up as the light and followed her everywhere, and just as the girl had thought she had found her way back to her beloved Father and friends he took off his disguise.
Darkness had covered the girl, no escape could the girl find. Alone she wondered, singing the songs she had once sung in the light.
This made the ugly monster angry, until he could stand her no longer. He hated her even more, the hatred had grown stronger than what it had been like in the beginning.
He vowed to make her life hell, and to never let her go until she gave herself over to him.
The girl had danced in the light, in golden paddocks she ran free. People sought out her company, and angels were her friends. They vowed always to protect her, never let any harm come to her.
She talked to God and had conversations with Him. She walked by His side wherever she went. But the monster was waking up in his darkness. The enemy hated the girl. He hated her joyful ways. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she held her head up high. So he devised a plan to capture her.
Just when the girl thought nothing could go wrong and let down her barriers, the monster took away the thing that meant the most to her and then covered her in darkness.
He later dressed up as the light and followed her everywhere, and just as the girl had thought she had found her way back to her beloved Father and friends he took off his disguise.
Darkness had covered the girl, no escape could the girl find. Alone she wondered, singing the songs she had once sung in the light.
This made the ugly monster angry, until he could stand her no longer. He hated her even more, the hatred had grown stronger than what it had been like in the beginning.
He vowed to make her life hell, and to never let her go until she gave herself over to him.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
There's really no other way to put it
I just got home from going to Life Church to check it out. I'd heard mixed reports about it, and i know some of the people who go there and are in the worship team and i wanna'd to form my own opinion of it.
My first impressions were 'um... flash much??' By the time i was actually in the auditorium i was realising how, for this church, first impressions are everything. In the foyer they have a massive screen showing whats going on in the main church. To tell you the truth, i thought it was a cd playing but then realised 'nope, its actually the music team.' Didn't help that the leader that night was the main singer from parachute band.
So, there was all this hype and loud music, flash lights and camera's everywhere. But despite all this, i was surprised to find myself bored at it all. I couldn't find God in this place. I mean, He was there and alive in people, but i couldn't personally connect with Him. It wasn't that i was over whelmed by it all, i'm not to sure what it was. All i know is that i was bored!!
I could go on for awhile about how i found that church, but i won't. Instead i wanna talk about how much it made me think about several things.
The first was about how people rely so much on loud music, hype and others praising God around them to connect with God. I wanna know what would happen if one sunday they walked in and all there was was a single guitar and singer on stage. Instead of the 5 singers, two key boardists, 3 guitars, one bass and a drummer that they had. Take away the hype, the professionalism of it all... whats left?? Hearts longing for God or a bunch of teenagers 'looking for an experiance'. I'm not saying that their aren't people there who are genuinely after God's heart, but its just so commercial and 'uniform'!! I wanna'd to know where the freedom and (no pun intended) liberty was to praise God as you will.
It then made me realise how if i took away the 'hype' in my life, what would be left? I remind myself everyday about how God 'isn't an experiance' but i think we all get caught up in the whole 'emotions' side of a relationship with God. What if i stripped myself of all emotion, except my love for God, and just worshiped Him. How amazingly beautiful would that be??
The second was about how much i love me church. Liberty is an *insert undescribable word here* type of church. The freedom and love in God just amazes me everytime i go. I love just standing there and watching others praise Him in their own ways. Whether it be dancing, singing, flag waving, laughing or crying, the freedom is there for the taking. No one will judge you for how you praise God. Nothing is to wacky, to 'out there' or to strange to praise God with.
And the people?? Man!! The blow my mind sometimes. Just their passiona and desire to bring glory to God. Not for their sake, but for His.
I love you guys so unbelievably much. You've brought life to my (spiritual) bones. You've taught me to let go of everything i'd previously been taught, and to just step out as who I am. I love you. There's really no other way to put it.
God bless
Chloe
My first impressions were 'um... flash much??' By the time i was actually in the auditorium i was realising how, for this church, first impressions are everything. In the foyer they have a massive screen showing whats going on in the main church. To tell you the truth, i thought it was a cd playing but then realised 'nope, its actually the music team.' Didn't help that the leader that night was the main singer from parachute band.
So, there was all this hype and loud music, flash lights and camera's everywhere. But despite all this, i was surprised to find myself bored at it all. I couldn't find God in this place. I mean, He was there and alive in people, but i couldn't personally connect with Him. It wasn't that i was over whelmed by it all, i'm not to sure what it was. All i know is that i was bored!!
I could go on for awhile about how i found that church, but i won't. Instead i wanna talk about how much it made me think about several things.
The first was about how people rely so much on loud music, hype and others praising God around them to connect with God. I wanna know what would happen if one sunday they walked in and all there was was a single guitar and singer on stage. Instead of the 5 singers, two key boardists, 3 guitars, one bass and a drummer that they had. Take away the hype, the professionalism of it all... whats left?? Hearts longing for God or a bunch of teenagers 'looking for an experiance'. I'm not saying that their aren't people there who are genuinely after God's heart, but its just so commercial and 'uniform'!! I wanna'd to know where the freedom and (no pun intended) liberty was to praise God as you will.
It then made me realise how if i took away the 'hype' in my life, what would be left? I remind myself everyday about how God 'isn't an experiance' but i think we all get caught up in the whole 'emotions' side of a relationship with God. What if i stripped myself of all emotion, except my love for God, and just worshiped Him. How amazingly beautiful would that be??
The second was about how much i love me church. Liberty is an *insert undescribable word here* type of church. The freedom and love in God just amazes me everytime i go. I love just standing there and watching others praise Him in their own ways. Whether it be dancing, singing, flag waving, laughing or crying, the freedom is there for the taking. No one will judge you for how you praise God. Nothing is to wacky, to 'out there' or to strange to praise God with.
And the people?? Man!! The blow my mind sometimes. Just their passiona and desire to bring glory to God. Not for their sake, but for His.
I love you guys so unbelievably much. You've brought life to my (spiritual) bones. You've taught me to let go of everything i'd previously been taught, and to just step out as who I am. I love you. There's really no other way to put it.
God bless
Chloe
Friday, April 24, 2009
i'll send ya out a copy
I've just written out my testimony for those that want to read it. I kinda didn't wanna put it up on here, its a little to personal for that. But if you do wanna read it email me at chlomophobia@hotmail.com and i'll send ya out a copy!!
xx
xx
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Finally someone gets us!!
I am sure most of you are sick of my whole 'PK' thing by now, but i just can't seem to get it out of my head. Everything i look at on the internet just makes me so angry at the way people treat and view pastor's kids.
The latest article i read had me in tears by the end of it. It talked alot about how 'you should be counting your blessings and happy that your parents are good christians instead of drunks'. But in the end it was pretty much saying 'suck it up, there's worse positions to be in.'
I think as pk's we all understand there is alot worse positions to be in. As in one of my earlier blogs it is said that 95% of pk's say that their time in the church was good, and that nothing bad happened.Yet 80% end up with some type of depression. I think we all realise that the fact or Dad's are pastors is not a bad thing!! But the fact is, there is something about being involved in the church which makes the majority of PK's need to endure counselling (in some cases years of it), and have serious 'labels' for themselves, God and the church. I don't think you can say 'just suck it up.' What made me even more angry about this article is how at the end they said "and anyway, you get free pastoral care." Um... yeah.
On one website i found what many of us feel about our homes summed up in one sentence "It isn't a safe haven from the world but instead is a place where everyone is always watching and ready to jump in and offer criticism."
On ask.com they had a discription of what a PK was. It also described the two main types of PK's. The 'holier-than-thou' PK. Who is often a snob, likes to preach to everyone and can never be wrong. And then there's the 'rebelious PK' who jusy 'dos anything to avoid church'. Why for once can't we just have a normal PK who does neither??
I found a website where some PK's had put up their own experiances. One which broke my heart, cause i have been there and still struggling to get out of it, is that the PK's are sometimes the loneliest kids about. They find it hard to have true friends. The have good friends, but none which they tell absolutely everything to. Its funny, cause my closest friends have no idea about what i go through/gone through. I don't talk to them about stuff like that because of things i have always been taught to believe, whether or not its correct. The same article talks about how we then find it hard to find a decent spouse, because if they don't fit the churches description of what a good husband/wife makes then its seen as rebelion. So we settle for a 'good christian' in a safe enviroment and often in end back in the parsonage. It also talks about how we learn to put on 'happy faces'. It is estimated we wear these masks 85% of the time.
The same article also said this 'By 14 a preacher’s daughter should be old enough to teach in the toddler class. After all she’s been schooled in the basic Bible stories since she was in the crib. They learn they must never show anger or disappointment or sadness because "the Lord knows best" (disappointment) and "its not up to them to want revenge. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord" (anger) or "the joy of the Lord is my strength"(sadness). They learn early on they are held to a higher standard than the rest of the youth in congregation because "they are a role model whether they want to be or not".' I had to laugh. I was a leader in my Sunday School by the time i was 13, although the rest sorta just, once agian, showed me how pathetically similar PK's experiances are. One which little bit which got me quite angry went like this 'People are not willing to listen to problems the preacher’s kid may have. If they do open up enough to talk about whatever is bothering them, they are told very politely that they should just give it to God. They are expected to always have answers to everyone’s problems and be a listener but never have anyone who is willing to listen to them. This can lead to anger. Anger at God, anger at parents, even anger at church members.'
In a different article but same website someone wrote 'They have lived in a world where its not safe to express their true feelings, a world where they learn early on their father’s job is often contingent upon their behavior. Their formative years were spent in a world where at the tender age of 5 they are expected to act like an adult and where by the age of 7 or 8 they have learned never to trust anyone and not to ever say anything bad about their family... A world where they weren’t allowed to make mistakes because daddy would lose his pastorate and they would not have a home to live in.'
I think that is probably enough ranting for now. Sorry if your getting sick of it all. Although, i did have to love the website i found on a 'guide to buying your pastor's children presents'. One of my favourite tips: Don't buy them religious items. Church dominates their lives already. They just want to have "normal" childhood experiences. Finally someone gets us!!
The latest article i read had me in tears by the end of it. It talked alot about how 'you should be counting your blessings and happy that your parents are good christians instead of drunks'. But in the end it was pretty much saying 'suck it up, there's worse positions to be in.'
I think as pk's we all understand there is alot worse positions to be in. As in one of my earlier blogs it is said that 95% of pk's say that their time in the church was good, and that nothing bad happened.Yet 80% end up with some type of depression. I think we all realise that the fact or Dad's are pastors is not a bad thing!! But the fact is, there is something about being involved in the church which makes the majority of PK's need to endure counselling (in some cases years of it), and have serious 'labels' for themselves, God and the church. I don't think you can say 'just suck it up.' What made me even more angry about this article is how at the end they said "and anyway, you get free pastoral care." Um... yeah.
On one website i found what many of us feel about our homes summed up in one sentence "It isn't a safe haven from the world but instead is a place where everyone is always watching and ready to jump in and offer criticism."
On ask.com they had a discription of what a PK was. It also described the two main types of PK's. The 'holier-than-thou' PK. Who is often a snob, likes to preach to everyone and can never be wrong. And then there's the 'rebelious PK' who jusy 'dos anything to avoid church'. Why for once can't we just have a normal PK who does neither??
I found a website where some PK's had put up their own experiances. One which broke my heart, cause i have been there and still struggling to get out of it, is that the PK's are sometimes the loneliest kids about. They find it hard to have true friends. The have good friends, but none which they tell absolutely everything to. Its funny, cause my closest friends have no idea about what i go through/gone through. I don't talk to them about stuff like that because of things i have always been taught to believe, whether or not its correct. The same article talks about how we then find it hard to find a decent spouse, because if they don't fit the churches description of what a good husband/wife makes then its seen as rebelion. So we settle for a 'good christian' in a safe enviroment and often in end back in the parsonage. It also talks about how we learn to put on 'happy faces'. It is estimated we wear these masks 85% of the time.
The same article also said this 'By 14 a preacher’s daughter should be old enough to teach in the toddler class. After all she’s been schooled in the basic Bible stories since she was in the crib. They learn they must never show anger or disappointment or sadness because "the Lord knows best" (disappointment) and "its not up to them to want revenge. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord" (anger) or "the joy of the Lord is my strength"(sadness). They learn early on they are held to a higher standard than the rest of the youth in congregation because "they are a role model whether they want to be or not".' I had to laugh. I was a leader in my Sunday School by the time i was 13, although the rest sorta just, once agian, showed me how pathetically similar PK's experiances are. One which little bit which got me quite angry went like this 'People are not willing to listen to problems the preacher’s kid may have. If they do open up enough to talk about whatever is bothering them, they are told very politely that they should just give it to God. They are expected to always have answers to everyone’s problems and be a listener but never have anyone who is willing to listen to them. This can lead to anger. Anger at God, anger at parents, even anger at church members.'
In a different article but same website someone wrote 'They have lived in a world where its not safe to express their true feelings, a world where they learn early on their father’s job is often contingent upon their behavior. Their formative years were spent in a world where at the tender age of 5 they are expected to act like an adult and where by the age of 7 or 8 they have learned never to trust anyone and not to ever say anything bad about their family... A world where they weren’t allowed to make mistakes because daddy would lose his pastorate and they would not have a home to live in.'
I think that is probably enough ranting for now. Sorry if your getting sick of it all. Although, i did have to love the website i found on a 'guide to buying your pastor's children presents'. One of my favourite tips: Don't buy them religious items. Church dominates their lives already. They just want to have "normal" childhood experiences. Finally someone gets us!!
a dose of PK-ism
Some of you might have noticed a change in my blog's name. When i first named it, i just named it something which didn't really mean anything, and i meant to come back and change it later, and i finally have!!
The new name "Life from the front pew" is to bring to attention the fact that i am a Pastor's kid. Even though i hate being labeled one, i figured for the sake of true and honest blogging then i may as well admitt to the fact that i am a PK.
I find it kinda funny. I've been trying to find some info on us PK's, but all i seem to get is really stink stories from Pastors and their kid's alike!! One story was from a Pastor who was approached by the Sunday School teacher, only to be told that his 5 year old son hadn't memorised enough bible verses considering 'who his father was'.
One story which breaks my heart, mostly because of the honesty of it goes something like this "You can't be yourself or let loose, because if someone sees you let loose and not being mature, they would tell the whole congregation about it! And I am not talking about letting loose to be dumb or ignorant — just being yourself and having fun. It is almost like being famous and not. I think the hardest part about being a PK is to know your Dad is not a normal father to you. Everyone else is more important to him." This was only highlighted with comment after comment of holidays cut short, special family outtings canceled, or birthdays being ruined because their Dad's had a dead person to tend to, or a baby to bless, or a marriage to make official.
What got me even more angry was the amount of forum's with postings such as 'why are PK's often embracing prostitution, cultism, etc.' and then people answering with things such as "I wonder why pastors children always want to destroy the image of their fathers. You ask me why? Most pastors children do involve themselves in bad habits such as cultism, prostitution, and so on. Though I'm not saying that those who are not pastors' children do not find themselves in these kind of bad habits. But it should not be found among pastors children." I seriusly want to slap the person who wrote that right in the face with a piece of what we go through!! Since when do 'most pk's' end up on the streets and worshipping satan?!?! ARGH!! That makes me so unbelievably angry!! And people who say PK's have 'sheltered lives'. Ha!! Do you really think we lead 'sheltered lives' when you see the type of people our fathers deal with??
Then there's the people that talk about how 'some pastors kids go to church but then go to parties during the week' or 'they respect their parents beliefs, but it seems like they don't'. Oh please!! Doesn't almost every teenager go through a stage of finding themselves?? I would like to ask the people commenting with such stupid ideas whether they went through a stage of finding out their own beliefs, instead of following their parents.
It really does anger me with the way people just brush off pastors kids. I think i have some serious praying to do!! Maybe God would have a better way of dealing with things other than wanting to slap those people with a dose of PK-ism
The new name "Life from the front pew" is to bring to attention the fact that i am a Pastor's kid. Even though i hate being labeled one, i figured for the sake of true and honest blogging then i may as well admitt to the fact that i am a PK.
I find it kinda funny. I've been trying to find some info on us PK's, but all i seem to get is really stink stories from Pastors and their kid's alike!! One story was from a Pastor who was approached by the Sunday School teacher, only to be told that his 5 year old son hadn't memorised enough bible verses considering 'who his father was'.
One story which breaks my heart, mostly because of the honesty of it goes something like this "You can't be yourself or let loose, because if someone sees you let loose and not being mature, they would tell the whole congregation about it! And I am not talking about letting loose to be dumb or ignorant — just being yourself and having fun. It is almost like being famous and not. I think the hardest part about being a PK is to know your Dad is not a normal father to you. Everyone else is more important to him." This was only highlighted with comment after comment of holidays cut short, special family outtings canceled, or birthdays being ruined because their Dad's had a dead person to tend to, or a baby to bless, or a marriage to make official.
What got me even more angry was the amount of forum's with postings such as 'why are PK's often embracing prostitution, cultism, etc.' and then people answering with things such as "I wonder why pastors children always want to destroy the image of their fathers. You ask me why? Most pastors children do involve themselves in bad habits such as cultism, prostitution, and so on. Though I'm not saying that those who are not pastors' children do not find themselves in these kind of bad habits. But it should not be found among pastors children." I seriusly want to slap the person who wrote that right in the face with a piece of what we go through!! Since when do 'most pk's' end up on the streets and worshipping satan?!?! ARGH!! That makes me so unbelievably angry!! And people who say PK's have 'sheltered lives'. Ha!! Do you really think we lead 'sheltered lives' when you see the type of people our fathers deal with??
Then there's the people that talk about how 'some pastors kids go to church but then go to parties during the week' or 'they respect their parents beliefs, but it seems like they don't'. Oh please!! Doesn't almost every teenager go through a stage of finding themselves?? I would like to ask the people commenting with such stupid ideas whether they went through a stage of finding out their own beliefs, instead of following their parents.
It really does anger me with the way people just brush off pastors kids. I think i have some serious praying to do!! Maybe God would have a better way of dealing with things other than wanting to slap those people with a dose of PK-ism
Monday, April 20, 2009
If you have any idea's, i'd really like to hear them!!!
Lately God has put such a passion in my heart to get out there and unite Pastor's Kids (PK's) just so they know their not alone in what their going through. Its such a desire i have, to just bring them together, to talk, to laugh, and to cry together.
Yesterday i spent seven hours just sitting on a couch and talking to a fellow PK. Afterwards she said 'its so good to talk to someone who knows what i'm going on about.' So many PK's just assume its 'only them that feel like they live in a fish bowl world.' But its really not.
I'm not saying PK's hate their life, because they dont (well, most of them don't). And i'm not saying all PK's found life in the church hard, because i know PK's who wouldn't have changed it for the world, but there are a some who do really struggle with it.
At the moment i'm trying to find some PK's who have the same passion as me, because i know i mustn't be the only one. Please pray i will be able to find some and that i'll be able to figure out where to go from here, cause i'm quite confused about it what God wants me to do with the passion He's put in me. If you have any idea's, i'd really like to hear them!!!
Yesterday i spent seven hours just sitting on a couch and talking to a fellow PK. Afterwards she said 'its so good to talk to someone who knows what i'm going on about.' So many PK's just assume its 'only them that feel like they live in a fish bowl world.' But its really not.
I'm not saying PK's hate their life, because they dont (well, most of them don't). And i'm not saying all PK's found life in the church hard, because i know PK's who wouldn't have changed it for the world, but there are a some who do really struggle with it.
At the moment i'm trying to find some PK's who have the same passion as me, because i know i mustn't be the only one. Please pray i will be able to find some and that i'll be able to figure out where to go from here, cause i'm quite confused about it what God wants me to do with the passion He's put in me. If you have any idea's, i'd really like to hear them!!!
He has quite an unfair advantage of the whole 'little steps' thing.
have you ever had a passion in you, which you just can't get out of your head?? you literally think about it every waking moment, and even dream it at night!!! you plan, you write notes, you day dream, you talk about it constantly. you can actually feel it in you. whether its in your heart, or bones, or blood, you don;t know. but you know its in you, somewhere, and its not just going to go away??
have you ever had a passion in you which gets you angry and fired up?? You can't help but put your fists into balls and pound the nearest object (hopefully its not a leg of any sort!). You just feel like if you thought about it any more your chest would burst open, flinging blod, lungs, and heart across the room?? But you can't stop the thought process from churning??
Have you ever had a passion which you know is from somewhere, other than yourself?? And it makes you wanna live in the presence of this 'thing' which has planted it in you. It makes you just wanna cry out in pain. It makes you wanna fall to the floor and throw a tantrum cuz you don't know how to channel that passion??
My friend just said that you have to trust God in the small things before you trust in the big things. its all in small steps. but when your going by Gods steps, their HUGE!! i mean, Gods a pretty big guy... with rather large steps. i think He has quite an unfair advantage of the whole 'little steps' thing.
have you ever had a passion in you which gets you angry and fired up?? You can't help but put your fists into balls and pound the nearest object (hopefully its not a leg of any sort!). You just feel like if you thought about it any more your chest would burst open, flinging blod, lungs, and heart across the room?? But you can't stop the thought process from churning??
Have you ever had a passion which you know is from somewhere, other than yourself?? And it makes you wanna live in the presence of this 'thing' which has planted it in you. It makes you just wanna cry out in pain. It makes you wanna fall to the floor and throw a tantrum cuz you don't know how to channel that passion??
My friend just said that you have to trust God in the small things before you trust in the big things. its all in small steps. but when your going by Gods steps, their HUGE!! i mean, Gods a pretty big guy... with rather large steps. i think He has quite an unfair advantage of the whole 'little steps' thing.
Friday, April 17, 2009
we've done enough damage already for the name of christianity
I've started reading a book called Letters from a skeptic. It is a book containing the letters that a father and son wrote during a debate about why the son has his belief in Christ, and the father has his atheist beliefs. The son is in fact a professor of theology at Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota.
What interests me about this book is that the son invites the father to ask him absolutely anything which challenges him. The first chapter faces the question 'why has christianity done so much harm?'
The son first talks about how without freedom you can't have love but since we have the freedom to love, we also have the freedom to create evil (a typical answer). He carries on to say though that to say that God is responsible for our evil is "to assume that humans are robots who simply act out a divine preplanned program. But if that was the case we could never be loving beings." The answer is pretty typical and not very challenging until you get to the last two paragraphs, and it starts (according to me) to get interesting.
He pulls out the fact that "Christianity isn't a religion or institution of any sort: its a relationship." Something can't be a 'christian organisation' because what is a christian really??
Christianity is used as a label, but is it right to go round slapping the word 'christian' across peoples foreheads? Is it right to say that an organisation is a 'christian organisation'? Because, somewhere along the line, they are bound to mess up what they have set out to do. Their bound to offend people and ruin everything.
Being a christian isn't about hanging out with christian people, going to church and preaching Jesus to who ever you met. Its about the praise and worship you give your Lord. Its about the absolute love you have for Him. Its about acting Jesus to those around you. Sure, just like the 'christian organisation's' we will mess up, offend people and ruin everything. But God knows we are going to do this, thats why He died for us!! And people realise 'christians' are only human, as long as we seek God in everything and just have a passion to love others, i don't think we can go to wrong. Its when a group of people get together, call themselves a 'christian organisation', rally for a cause, and take matters into their own hands, forgetting that theres a) a loving God who grimaces everytime we do this and b) a whole world needing love that things become messy.
Perhaps we need to wipe the slate clean on the 'christian' records. Perhaps, as christians, we need to forget the mind set people have given us. I think we've done enough damage already for the name of christianity.
*i swear none of that made sense, but i hope it does!!*
What interests me about this book is that the son invites the father to ask him absolutely anything which challenges him. The first chapter faces the question 'why has christianity done so much harm?'
The son first talks about how without freedom you can't have love but since we have the freedom to love, we also have the freedom to create evil (a typical answer). He carries on to say though that to say that God is responsible for our evil is "to assume that humans are robots who simply act out a divine preplanned program. But if that was the case we could never be loving beings." The answer is pretty typical and not very challenging until you get to the last two paragraphs, and it starts (according to me) to get interesting.
He pulls out the fact that "Christianity isn't a religion or institution of any sort: its a relationship." Something can't be a 'christian organisation' because what is a christian really??
Christianity is used as a label, but is it right to go round slapping the word 'christian' across peoples foreheads? Is it right to say that an organisation is a 'christian organisation'? Because, somewhere along the line, they are bound to mess up what they have set out to do. Their bound to offend people and ruin everything.
Being a christian isn't about hanging out with christian people, going to church and preaching Jesus to who ever you met. Its about the praise and worship you give your Lord. Its about the absolute love you have for Him. Its about acting Jesus to those around you. Sure, just like the 'christian organisation's' we will mess up, offend people and ruin everything. But God knows we are going to do this, thats why He died for us!! And people realise 'christians' are only human, as long as we seek God in everything and just have a passion to love others, i don't think we can go to wrong. Its when a group of people get together, call themselves a 'christian organisation', rally for a cause, and take matters into their own hands, forgetting that theres a) a loving God who grimaces everytime we do this and b) a whole world needing love that things become messy.
Perhaps we need to wipe the slate clean on the 'christian' records. Perhaps, as christians, we need to forget the mind set people have given us. I think we've done enough damage already for the name of christianity.
*i swear none of that made sense, but i hope it does!!*
Thursday, April 16, 2009
praying for those who see no way out.
I don't know whether you believe in the whole 'prophetic dreams' and what not, but i know in my life God will give me dreams which mean stuff. I have a dream journal in which i write down all my dreams so i can later go back and read them. I strongly encourage you all to do this!! I never used to think dreams were from God until i went back and read over them. Even the insane, wacky ones actually made sense!!
But i feel like i need to share a dream i had on the 5th of march last year. It goes something like this:
"Listen up class!"
I groan as my photography teacher crackles commands through a loud speaker.
"Today we'll be studying portraits. I have some with me, all done on the same person. Please examine them like i taught you."
She walks around the class, handing a different photo to each person. A hush drifts into the room as each student recieves their photo. The teacher drops her last photo in front of me and crumples into the chair next to mine.
I pick up the photo and in terror almost let it go.
The picture is in black and white, except for blood stains. A young girl lies bare on the bathroom floor, razors at her wrists. Blood stained tiles decorate the floor.
"I don't... i don't understand," I stutter. "This is crazy!! Its insane!!"
She looks at me and smiles. "Everyone has their different sides," she says.
I stare at the fimiliar face on the page and cry.
This dream means so much to me, most of which i won't go into. I'm still unsure of who the girl was in the picture. When i first wrote it down i was sure it was one person, then a little later it was another, and its still continuely changing. The funny thing is (or more sad than funny) is that whoever it is, i know or later find out that they have a problem with self harming.
Self harming is an issue people either ignore completely or embrace a little too much!! People say its all for attention. Sure, some people do do it for the attention, but isn't that in itself a problem?? For someone to feel the need for attention so much that they cause harm to themselves is not right or healthy!! And those who don't do it for attention don't do it so they can suffer alone, yet they almost always do because they don't want to be called attention seekers by telling someone.
It is such a vicious circle which i think you can only fully understand unless you've been there yourself or with someone you are close to. Even then, i don't think you fully know what causes someone to cut, burn or mutilate themselves.
I urge you to take a stand, not agianst those who self harm, but for those who self harm. Not for their self harming, but for their needs.
I only follow two charities religiously. "To write love on her arms" is one of them. It highlights self harming and suicidal tendencies and offers a way out. Please look it up http://www.twloha.com/ is the website.
I wish i could talk more about this issue, but i can smell dinner cooking and i'm uber hungry!! But please join me in praying for those who see no way out.
But i feel like i need to share a dream i had on the 5th of march last year. It goes something like this:
"Listen up class!"
I groan as my photography teacher crackles commands through a loud speaker.
"Today we'll be studying portraits. I have some with me, all done on the same person. Please examine them like i taught you."
She walks around the class, handing a different photo to each person. A hush drifts into the room as each student recieves their photo. The teacher drops her last photo in front of me and crumples into the chair next to mine.
I pick up the photo and in terror almost let it go.
The picture is in black and white, except for blood stains. A young girl lies bare on the bathroom floor, razors at her wrists. Blood stained tiles decorate the floor.
"I don't... i don't understand," I stutter. "This is crazy!! Its insane!!"
She looks at me and smiles. "Everyone has their different sides," she says.
I stare at the fimiliar face on the page and cry.
This dream means so much to me, most of which i won't go into. I'm still unsure of who the girl was in the picture. When i first wrote it down i was sure it was one person, then a little later it was another, and its still continuely changing. The funny thing is (or more sad than funny) is that whoever it is, i know or later find out that they have a problem with self harming.
Self harming is an issue people either ignore completely or embrace a little too much!! People say its all for attention. Sure, some people do do it for the attention, but isn't that in itself a problem?? For someone to feel the need for attention so much that they cause harm to themselves is not right or healthy!! And those who don't do it for attention don't do it so they can suffer alone, yet they almost always do because they don't want to be called attention seekers by telling someone.
It is such a vicious circle which i think you can only fully understand unless you've been there yourself or with someone you are close to. Even then, i don't think you fully know what causes someone to cut, burn or mutilate themselves.
I urge you to take a stand, not agianst those who self harm, but for those who self harm. Not for their self harming, but for their needs.
I only follow two charities religiously. "To write love on her arms" is one of them. It highlights self harming and suicidal tendencies and offers a way out. Please look it up http://www.twloha.com/ is the website.
I wish i could talk more about this issue, but i can smell dinner cooking and i'm uber hungry!! But please join me in praying for those who see no way out.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
fingers crossed it will all work out!!
I have just sent a email to a group of people who are part of the 'i am' challenge, telling them that i want to join in on their challenge.
Incase you haven't heard of it, then this (in my words, if you want the full story go to iamchallenge.org) 'challenge' is for those who are passionate about change in this world but, for various reason like education commitments and finacial issues, cannot go to developing countries to personally help out themselves. So two auckland teenagers came up with the 'i am' challenge. A way to be involved 24/7 with change in this world.
The Challenge??
To wear, for one whole year, a t shirt saying "i am *insert participants name here*". You get 10 t shirts, all saying the same thing, and for one whole year that is all your allowed to wear. The only excuse is formal events and any where where you have to wear a uniform. The message behind the t shirts? "I am who i am, and i am making a difference."
Hopefully i will hear back from them soon. They say that the next lot of people to start will be next year, but my friend Chloe is starting in June/July and i'm really keen to do it with her. So fingers crossed it will all work out!!
Incase you haven't heard of it, then this (in my words, if you want the full story go to iamchallenge.org) 'challenge' is for those who are passionate about change in this world but, for various reason like education commitments and finacial issues, cannot go to developing countries to personally help out themselves. So two auckland teenagers came up with the 'i am' challenge. A way to be involved 24/7 with change in this world.
The Challenge??
To wear, for one whole year, a t shirt saying "i am *insert participants name here*". You get 10 t shirts, all saying the same thing, and for one whole year that is all your allowed to wear. The only excuse is formal events and any where where you have to wear a uniform. The message behind the t shirts? "I am who i am, and i am making a difference."
Hopefully i will hear back from them soon. They say that the next lot of people to start will be next year, but my friend Chloe is starting in June/July and i'm really keen to do it with her. So fingers crossed it will all work out!!
but being a PK sure does suck: part two
I think I’ll always remember the story of how on the first Sunday of which I was alive for my Dad put up pictures of me all around the church. Sure, it was sweet, but I guess it set the tone for the rest of my life as a PK. One of being in the lime light, everything I ever did was known by everyone else.
A PK doesn’t have a normal sized family; it has to expand its family to the rest of the church. It can be helpful at times, for if I ever needed a place to crash I had one. If ever I needed meals, all I had to do was walk into one of the many homes opened to me. But then there’s the times when everyone knows exactly what’s going on. From your problems to your triumphs. From your downfalls to your victories. Everyone would be there to congratulate you as soon as something good happened in your life. But as soon as something bad happens, a sin uncovered or a fault laid bare, then the large family suddenly becomes your biggest nightmare.
PK’s are always the last to be asked if they need mentoring or just a chat. Either their to busy catering to others emotional needs or people assume, even though they do actually know it’s probably not the case, that since you’re the Pastors child everything ‘must being going great!!’ And even if they aren’t, then you’ve got your parents to talk to, right?
In all honesty (not trying to put down parents or anything) what sort of teenager talks to their parents about their deepest troubles? If you do, then that’s awesome! But most teenagers don’t. So just because someone has a pastor as a father, it does not mean they talk openly to them about everything! And then there’s the problem about how ‘if I do talk to someone in the church about it, then it will get back to my dad anyway.’ I think all pastor’s kids have that problem!
Which leads to trust issues. How are we supposed to trust people when we know it’ll get back to our parents? When we know that the congregation is just waiting for us to slip up so they can pounce on us and tear us to pieces because ‘we’re supposed to be perfect.’ Believe it or not, PK’s are not perfect! And neither are their families. We see the down side to church leadership. We see their hypocrisy and their faults. We know they’re just human, but their the ones preaching about it! So how are we supposed to trust the people in church leadership roles when we see them fall short of even their own expectations!
And how are we supposed to live up to their expectations when they themselves can’t? We don’t have room to make mistakes.
PK’s are a driving force behind the Pastor, yet they are forgotten about. We are told off for what we wear, for the things we say. We are judged day in, day out for the people we hang out with, for our bad moods.
The church needs to realize how much influence they have on the Pastor’s children. They have the ability to make the experience as a PK either an amazing experience, or hell.
Sure, we got plenty of extra Christmas and birthday presents with such a large family and you get to be a member of the unspoken ‘PK Club’, but being a PK sure does suck.
A PK doesn’t have a normal sized family; it has to expand its family to the rest of the church. It can be helpful at times, for if I ever needed a place to crash I had one. If ever I needed meals, all I had to do was walk into one of the many homes opened to me. But then there’s the times when everyone knows exactly what’s going on. From your problems to your triumphs. From your downfalls to your victories. Everyone would be there to congratulate you as soon as something good happened in your life. But as soon as something bad happens, a sin uncovered or a fault laid bare, then the large family suddenly becomes your biggest nightmare.
PK’s are always the last to be asked if they need mentoring or just a chat. Either their to busy catering to others emotional needs or people assume, even though they do actually know it’s probably not the case, that since you’re the Pastors child everything ‘must being going great!!’ And even if they aren’t, then you’ve got your parents to talk to, right?
In all honesty (not trying to put down parents or anything) what sort of teenager talks to their parents about their deepest troubles? If you do, then that’s awesome! But most teenagers don’t. So just because someone has a pastor as a father, it does not mean they talk openly to them about everything! And then there’s the problem about how ‘if I do talk to someone in the church about it, then it will get back to my dad anyway.’ I think all pastor’s kids have that problem!
Which leads to trust issues. How are we supposed to trust people when we know it’ll get back to our parents? When we know that the congregation is just waiting for us to slip up so they can pounce on us and tear us to pieces because ‘we’re supposed to be perfect.’ Believe it or not, PK’s are not perfect! And neither are their families. We see the down side to church leadership. We see their hypocrisy and their faults. We know they’re just human, but their the ones preaching about it! So how are we supposed to trust the people in church leadership roles when we see them fall short of even their own expectations!
And how are we supposed to live up to their expectations when they themselves can’t? We don’t have room to make mistakes.
PK’s are a driving force behind the Pastor, yet they are forgotten about. We are told off for what we wear, for the things we say. We are judged day in, day out for the people we hang out with, for our bad moods.
The church needs to realize how much influence they have on the Pastor’s children. They have the ability to make the experience as a PK either an amazing experience, or hell.
Sure, we got plenty of extra Christmas and birthday presents with such a large family and you get to be a member of the unspoken ‘PK Club’, but being a PK sure does suck.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
but being a PK sure does suck: part one
God has put a dream into my heart. It all started with this vision i had in june 2007:
It’s not exactly a rich house. Its not all that new either, but it’s a home.
In summer kids, teenagers and troubled parents play on the lawns, toast marshmallows over the bonfire, push each other on the swings, and lounge around the pool together.
In winter homeless men and woman, lost children and scared teenagers gather round a roaring fire, sing songs, preach God’s glory and encourage each other in their walk with God.
Not one person is turned away, not one person isn’t welcome. The door is always open. Anytime of the day or night, anyone is welcome.
People are feed, not only physical food, but spiritual food. People seek refuge in this place. They look forward to the love and warmth the family who owns the house gives them.
It’s not a place to stay, it’s not a place to pray, it’s not a place to be feed and it’s certainly not a place to be loved in.
No!! It’s a home. A home where the accomdation is free if needed. It’s a home where people seek God in. It’s a home where people are given the essentials and its certainly a home where no matter what your past is like, you are loved and cared for.
Since then God has placed an even bigger calling on my life to reach out to pastors kids. Having been one myself up until last year i know how tough it can get. If you look up statistics on it, you'll discover how shocking it really is. About 80% of pastors kids (PK's) will have depression sometime in their life. They have a higher chance of self harming and eating disorders. Still the list goes on. Yet 95% of PK's say that their time in the church was good. Something doesn't quite match up!!
God has placed a calling in my life to open a home for PK's, provide mentors which aren't involved in their immediate church, and just cater to their needs.
This 'home' i'm going to open will be a place for them to come and be themselves. Let down their walls, learn to trust people and discover how to live with the expectations placed on their shoulders.
Being a pastors kid is one of those things which from the outside look great, but the moment you become one you discover that it isn't all it lives up to be. Don't get me wrong, it certianly has shaped me into who i am today which i'm proud of, but being a PK sure does suck.
It’s not exactly a rich house. Its not all that new either, but it’s a home.
In summer kids, teenagers and troubled parents play on the lawns, toast marshmallows over the bonfire, push each other on the swings, and lounge around the pool together.
In winter homeless men and woman, lost children and scared teenagers gather round a roaring fire, sing songs, preach God’s glory and encourage each other in their walk with God.
Not one person is turned away, not one person isn’t welcome. The door is always open. Anytime of the day or night, anyone is welcome.
People are feed, not only physical food, but spiritual food. People seek refuge in this place. They look forward to the love and warmth the family who owns the house gives them.
It’s not a place to stay, it’s not a place to pray, it’s not a place to be feed and it’s certainly not a place to be loved in.
No!! It’s a home. A home where the accomdation is free if needed. It’s a home where people seek God in. It’s a home where people are given the essentials and its certainly a home where no matter what your past is like, you are loved and cared for.
Since then God has placed an even bigger calling on my life to reach out to pastors kids. Having been one myself up until last year i know how tough it can get. If you look up statistics on it, you'll discover how shocking it really is. About 80% of pastors kids (PK's) will have depression sometime in their life. They have a higher chance of self harming and eating disorders. Still the list goes on. Yet 95% of PK's say that their time in the church was good. Something doesn't quite match up!!
God has placed a calling in my life to open a home for PK's, provide mentors which aren't involved in their immediate church, and just cater to their needs.
This 'home' i'm going to open will be a place for them to come and be themselves. Let down their walls, learn to trust people and discover how to live with the expectations placed on their shoulders.
Being a pastors kid is one of those things which from the outside look great, but the moment you become one you discover that it isn't all it lives up to be. Don't get me wrong, it certianly has shaped me into who i am today which i'm proud of, but being a PK sure does suck.
will you be there to rule and reign with Jesus?
I wrote this almost a year ago:
A politician once said 'new zealand is an atheist country'. Well, i guess they might just have to eat their words, stand up and look around.
Christianity is growing four times the rate of the world’s population. It is growing so fast that by the time it is 2032 there will be a billion more believers than there will be (what for it) humans!
The generation of Christians being brought up at the moment is the first generation not to run away from sin and dirt… but to run to it and sow seeds in that dirt that will reap a harvest that is yearning for God.
A prophecy of mine (well… God’s, but through me =] )
Just like the people of Jerusalem welcomed Jesus into their city with shouts of praises and lifted hands, a generation is rising up that is welcoming Jesus back into the world with shouts of praises and lifted hands.
Just like the people of Jerusalem waved palm fronds to welcome the Lord to where He would die, a generation is waving their white flags to the devil to welcome him to where he will die, but unlike Jesus in jerusalem who rose after three days this death will be one of eternal life, of consuming fire.
THIS GENERATION WILL YOU WELCOME YOUR SAVIOUR TO THIS EARTH LIKE THE PEOPLE OF JERUSALEM DID 2000 YEARS AGO? or will you die along with satan just like the people next to Jesus on the cross?
its your decision...will you welcome back the Saviour?or will you sing satan to your grave?will you bring glory to this God who is seated on high?or will you continue to give into the devil's fear?its your decision... will you be there to rule and reign with Jesus?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Your cry's do not go unheard
Easter camp was an amazing time of seeing how God is moving through the young people of this nation. Before we went, we knew God had planned what was going to happen at camp. He had His hand on every person who would go, and He was softening their hearts to Him. God is a mysterious God, and He sure does move in myterious ways.
Camp this year was amazing!! God taught me so much, showed me how to reach out to others with His love, and let me minister to His children.
One of the most exciting things was getting to pray for my brother. I had been waiting for that chance for awhile. It was a moment i while remember for a long time. The Holy Spirit sure delivered on His promise in that moment. Praise God!!
That same meeting me and my friend sarah decided to pray for someone we didn't know. We looked around for awhile, but no one caught our eye until we were just about to give up. Their was a girl sitting in the bleachers by herself. As we approached she didn't look up, but when we asked her if we could pray for her she looked so relieved and jumped at the chance. As we prayed for her God put words into my hert and mouth i cannot explian. He showed me what she was feeling and gave me a glimpse of what was happening in her past. I asked her about what God had put in my heart and it turns out that both her and her dad have clinical depression and she had been hurt alot by the pressure her father had put on her which effected the way she viewed God. It was such a privledge being able to share such a vunreable moment with her and i am so grateful she let us pray for her.
Another exciting thing which happened was that i got to pray for a young girl who had been on my heart for awhile. After the Holy Spirit seminar i approached her and began to pray, as the words God put into my mouth came out she began to cry. It was so powerful seeing her and talking to her about what has been going on with God for her. She is such a blessing and i love watching her discover God and His love for His daughter. So thank you for letting me share that moment with you Izzy!!!
My old church, Blockhouse Bay Baptist, had a real annointing of the Holy Spirit while at camp. A few of the younger members recieved gifts from God, including tongues which is such an answer to prayer!! Some of them couldn't stop laughing and it was pure joy watching God's joy seep out of them in ways no human can explian. It was such a breakthrough and i can see that that church is headed for great and glorious things if they continue pressing into God like they did at camp.
Their is so much more i could write, but i won't as i have far to many assignments to finish. But i just wanna do a shout out to God for the miracles and wonders he did this weekend and i urge any of you to cry out to God. Your cry's do not go unheard by God.
God bless
Chloe
Camp this year was amazing!! God taught me so much, showed me how to reach out to others with His love, and let me minister to His children.
One of the most exciting things was getting to pray for my brother. I had been waiting for that chance for awhile. It was a moment i while remember for a long time. The Holy Spirit sure delivered on His promise in that moment. Praise God!!
That same meeting me and my friend sarah decided to pray for someone we didn't know. We looked around for awhile, but no one caught our eye until we were just about to give up. Their was a girl sitting in the bleachers by herself. As we approached she didn't look up, but when we asked her if we could pray for her she looked so relieved and jumped at the chance. As we prayed for her God put words into my hert and mouth i cannot explian. He showed me what she was feeling and gave me a glimpse of what was happening in her past. I asked her about what God had put in my heart and it turns out that both her and her dad have clinical depression and she had been hurt alot by the pressure her father had put on her which effected the way she viewed God. It was such a privledge being able to share such a vunreable moment with her and i am so grateful she let us pray for her.
Another exciting thing which happened was that i got to pray for a young girl who had been on my heart for awhile. After the Holy Spirit seminar i approached her and began to pray, as the words God put into my mouth came out she began to cry. It was so powerful seeing her and talking to her about what has been going on with God for her. She is such a blessing and i love watching her discover God and His love for His daughter. So thank you for letting me share that moment with you Izzy!!!
My old church, Blockhouse Bay Baptist, had a real annointing of the Holy Spirit while at camp. A few of the younger members recieved gifts from God, including tongues which is such an answer to prayer!! Some of them couldn't stop laughing and it was pure joy watching God's joy seep out of them in ways no human can explian. It was such a breakthrough and i can see that that church is headed for great and glorious things if they continue pressing into God like they did at camp.
Their is so much more i could write, but i won't as i have far to many assignments to finish. But i just wanna do a shout out to God for the miracles and wonders he did this weekend and i urge any of you to cry out to God. Your cry's do not go unheard by God.
God bless
Chloe
Just let Him love you
I was struck on friday at easter camp by how Jesus gave up His dignity for us, at how He gave up absolutely everything. The morning speaker called us to give up something which was getting in the way of coming to God as a whole people, not as individuals. For me I knew it was my dignity. Sure, I had to give up my earthly dignity, but in return I receive Godly dignity, which is what matters for eternity. People my ridicule me, they may hate me, they may tease me, and they may strip me of my dignity. But God clothes us with dignity. A dignity that cannot be replaced. A dignity which surpasses all worldly fame and love. A dignity which lasts forever.
It struck me at how God didn’t put us one earth for us. He didn’t put us on earth for our gratification. He didn’t put us on earth because He was lonely or bored. God doesn’t need people to make Him feel superior. He doesn’t need sinners to make Him feel excited or mighty. He doesn’t need us to make Him laugh. He needed us because He needed someone to love, and them to love Him back. God put us on earth for Him. He put us on earth to live for Him and to praise Him. What is heaven for? To praise God!! Therefore, as on earth as it is in heaven, we need to praise the Lord Almighty. We need to love Him because He first loved us. We need to worship Him and devote our lives to Him.
God just wants us to love Him. How simple is that? Love. He’s called us to have Him, the Creator, the Saviour, the Lover to love Him. To have Him as our first love. We should be utterly in love with Him. I don’t know about you,but I need someone like God that I can love whole heartedly. That I can love with a passion that causes me to give up my dignity, that causes me to forget about the world, but to strive to praise Him in my faith, love, and purity.
I want God to be my first love. My true love. God is so beautiful. God is just calling out our names, whispering them in our ears. Whether or not you can hear Him, He just wants you to run into His open arms.
Life may be hard, you may not like what ‘He’s done in your life’. But He loves you with a passion which sent His Son to earth. A Son which did no wrong, did no offence. Yet we condemned Him to die on a cross. He took our sins onto His shoulders and died.
Just let Him love you like He made us for.
It struck me at how God didn’t put us one earth for us. He didn’t put us on earth for our gratification. He didn’t put us on earth because He was lonely or bored. God doesn’t need people to make Him feel superior. He doesn’t need sinners to make Him feel excited or mighty. He doesn’t need us to make Him laugh. He needed us because He needed someone to love, and them to love Him back. God put us on earth for Him. He put us on earth to live for Him and to praise Him. What is heaven for? To praise God!! Therefore, as on earth as it is in heaven, we need to praise the Lord Almighty. We need to love Him because He first loved us. We need to worship Him and devote our lives to Him.
God just wants us to love Him. How simple is that? Love. He’s called us to have Him, the Creator, the Saviour, the Lover to love Him. To have Him as our first love. We should be utterly in love with Him. I don’t know about you,but I need someone like God that I can love whole heartedly. That I can love with a passion that causes me to give up my dignity, that causes me to forget about the world, but to strive to praise Him in my faith, love, and purity.
I want God to be my first love. My true love. God is so beautiful. God is just calling out our names, whispering them in our ears. Whether or not you can hear Him, He just wants you to run into His open arms.
Life may be hard, you may not like what ‘He’s done in your life’. But He loves you with a passion which sent His Son to earth. A Son which did no wrong, did no offence. Yet we condemned Him to die on a cross. He took our sins onto His shoulders and died.
Just let Him love you like He made us for.
My blog...
I've decided to start a blog to share of what God has been doing in my life, and the lives of those around me. Please feel free to email or comment with any questions or comments. I'm not here to shove religion down your throat, but to share the love of your Creator.
God bless
Chloe
God bless
Chloe
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